Art Of Being Overwhelmed
Posted on February 18, 2008 - Filed Under Self Improvement
Here are five of my favorite strategies for keeping yourself together when your life is falling apart - ways to avoid the over and under and maintain just the right amount of “whelm”!
1. Slow Down to Get More Done
In Dale Carnegie’s book
Choose the time frame that feels most manageable to you, then focus on just those things you need to get done in that time frame. In the words of coach John Wooden - “Be quick - but don’t hurry.”
2. Take Control of Your Environment
Research into the psychology of kidnap victims revealed that some particularly resourceful victims were able to stay “whelmed” by taking control of their environment. One British diplomat even decided to treat his prison cell as an apartment and the jailers as his guests. He would invite them in to his cell, offer to share his food and drink, and generally “play host”.
In fact, studies have shown that having a sense of control in your life is a key to longevity. Making changes as simple as allowing residents in a convalescent home to “decide what they would have for meals, when the phone would ring
A simple way that you can take control of your environment is to take on the twin time thieves of modern society - incoming phone calls and e-mail.
As an experiment this week, begin only returning calls/checking e-mail at regular intervals throughout the day (not picking up the phone when it rings or opening e-mails as they arrive). Depending on your job, you might choose to do that once an hour, twice a day, or with whatever frequency and interval works for you - even a five minute delay will give you a greater sense of control and help you stay “whelmed” throughout the day.
3. Get Support
The one good thing about having too much to do in too little time is that it helps cure (at least temporarily) what I call “the Superman syndrome”. This is the idea that we’re supposed to do it on our own, that asking for help is a sign of weakness, and that it only “counts” if we did it ourselves.
In fact, the opposite is true - every worthwhile achievement is the result of a team effort. This week, experiment with getting support by making sure that you ask for help at least three times each day - even if (especially if!) you feel like you don’t need it.
4. Prioritize Self-Care
One things we human beings are remarkably resourceful at is survival. Your “survival self” will do whatever it takes to get your needs met no matter how much you try to convince yourself that “everything’s all right”.
Need to slow down? If you won’t do it, your survival self will give you the gift
The trick to staying “whelmed” is to take care of yourself FIRST - to take care of yourself on purpose. When you are paying attention to yourself and getting your needs met consciously, your survival self doesn’t feel the need to “take over” and do things the hard way.
5. Create a “Recovery Ritual”
“The secret of success? Fall down seven times, stand up eight.”
-Chinese Proverb
When I certify Coaches, I am not looking for people who never get phased and stay resourceful at all times - usually, these seemingly cool customers are like ducks on a pond, calm on the surface but paddling like mad underneath, desperately trying to stay afloat. What I do look for is how quickly you notice when you begin to “lose it”, and how quickly you are able to recover.
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